[Silly Little Cars] 2010

[Lokisgodhi]

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 (Copyright, 2000, 2001 drmissy at o...)

 ARRRrrrrggghhhh -- how did you get on the list in the first place?  The unsubscribe instructions are in every message/digest. Here it is again... 
The new Unsubscribe System mandates that each person who wishes to unsubscribe from a list, fill out in triplicate, Form  BS-183-L.

 This must be done in hard copy. This form is then mailed to the Internet Unsubscription Bureau (IUB) in Tuscola, Illinois.

 Upon receipt of Form BS-183-L, the IUB will then prepare Form MF-876e, the Petition for Unsubscription, which is mailed to the Internet Subscription/Unsubscription Profiling Center in Ludwig, Florida, which will conduct a thorough personal investigation of the Candidate for Unsubscription, which usually takes 6 to 8 weeks, unless there's a recount.

 The cost of this investigation, is usually around $300 to $500, and it must be paid for by The Candidate for Unsubscription, with the payment being sent to the Internet Fee Processing Center in Detroit,  Michigan. All payments must be made in cash or cashier's checks.

 No personal checks or credit cards are accepted.

 If all goes well with the personal investigation, The Candidate will  receive Form BMF-9387233, the Summons for Termination of Subscription Hearing. These hearings are held in one of three regional locations throughout the country: Nome, Alaska, Hilo, Hawaii, and Key West, Florida.

 Be warned that hearings held in Florida are subject to many, many appeals so you might want to opt to have the jurisdiction moved to one of the other locations.

 Your personal attendance at these hearings is mandatory. The candidate for unsubscription is advised to bring legal representation with him or her to this hearing. A few people have managed to successfully represent themselves all the way to a successful unsubscription, but it's a rare occasion when they prevail without an attorney to represent their interests.

 At the hearing, a federal magistrate will hear the evidence and pleas regarding the Petition for Unsubscription and make a decision as to whether or not to proceed with the hearing or order a continuance until additional information can be processed.

 If the Petition to unsubscribe is found worthy of consideration a court date will be set, usually within a six month period.

 Of course, The Candidate for Unsubscription can expect a fairly rigorous cross-examination by the prosecutors. Many searching and embarrassing questions will be asked, which might include: "If you could manage to scrape enough brain cells together to subscribe to a list, what happened to your brain when you decided to unsubscribe?" "Are you a freakin' idiot or something?" "Did you damage your brain staring at too many porn sites?" "What the heck is the matter with you?" "What are you, a moron?" "What are you, crazy?" and "Are you brain dead or just having a brain fart?" Depending on how the trial proceeds, many different things can happen, including a mistrial, a hung jury, which will result in entering the appeals process (a particularly grueling affair), or the jailing and torture of The Candidate for Unsubscription in a South American prison, and so on.

 These topics will be covered in a later edition of this newsletter.
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 Message: 1
 Date: Sat, 26 May 2018 20:03:43 -0400
 From: directpart at aol.com
 To: silly_little_cars at lists.sillylittlecars.com
 Subject: Re: [Silly Little Cars] 2010
 Governor
 Message-ID: <1639ee87176-c96-ee44 at webjas-vac058.srv.aolmail.net>
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 Second request. remove my email address
 from this list